totally INSANE!

i cried after reading someone's blog , i wonder why -_-

am i crazy? because i cried out of nothing?

i dunno him alot and i felt the same pain when i've read his posts..

i dunno what to say , i just cant imagine that his posts made me cry :(

time check: 1:19am

im TOTALLY INSANE - - -

ASYSTOLE LIFE

EVER SINCE I LEARNED HOW MAKE THINGS POSSIBLE WITH MY OWN EFFORTS LIKE STUDYING AND STUDYING AND STRIVING TO GET HIGH GRADES , I EVEN MORE BECOME AGGRESSIVE IN EVERYTHING THAT WILL HAPPEN IN MY LIFE.. I GET TO MAKE THINGS BETTER WITH MY OWN INSTINCTS!!

HOW I WISH I'D GO BACK TO BE LIKE SO AGGRESSIVE ALL THE TIME , TO BE LIKE WHAT I WANNA BE.. I HAD ALOT OF PLANS IN MY CAREER MOST ESPECIALLY MY FUTURE ME ------------?

OPPSS! THAT's a questionable- ASYSTOLE. Honestly i don't want to have that asystole thing. I just want my life to follow the career that i wanna pursue someday.

Lately, my mom ask me if what i want as a present for my graduation. I told her straightly to give me a HONDA CIVIC 1.8s CAR! yeah! that was so impossible coz i know that wasn't my mom's priority ;) i understand coz somehow i know i can buy my own car when i do have a regular job someday. The next morning, i talked to her and told her about the serious present that i wanna receive this coming graduation day. I told her, "I WANNNA STUDY AGAIN" she asked me not to continue my plans to study again, she dun want me to be STRESS all over again coz she wants me to regain my weight coz imma hella underweight. Yeah yeah, that's alot of conversation, then she asked me again if what course imma goin to take? i told her, "I WANNA GO TO MED SCHOOL" SERIOUSLY???????????? I asked my self in silence..... She insisted NOT TO! you know what i replied? "ALL OVER MY LIFE I FOLLOWED WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT ME TO BE, NOW I REALIZED YOU WONT ALLOW ME TO CHOOSE WHAT I WANT". i THOUGHT NURSING will be the start of my MED career coz maybe this time i'll be like the AGGRESSIVE one as what am i before coz i'd love this course but sad to say, im still hangin like i cant go down or go up anymore and that's how ASYSTOLE works as what my LIFE is-----------

i CRIED like a PIG last Friday, January 21, 2011

      They said the origin of man is from animals. I wonder how we differ from them? A man has it's own emotions & animals don't have it. Some people cry because they were driven by their emotions, &people cry because they feel alone. In my case i cried because i'm hurt & when I'm hurt i became angry just like a typical animal when they were hurt by someone they have their defense mechanism to protect them. As a person, i have the same defense mechanism like animals, i also have my friends & families to protect me, but the reason behind i cried, is that i'm angry because i dunno & i wasn't taught how to express what i feel & that differs me from animals.