HIM: that forever will be..

      Today is i think the day that i am waiting for. I got the answers to my questions in my previous blog post. I am happy and contented that we have talked about our problem. I believe that everything is worth the wait and he made me realize how important i am to him.

      We talked today, he told me SORRY for he was distant to me the past few days and it's difficult for him that we are both far away from each other that its just also hard to be away for so long from someone he cares so much for.

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       Above all, was so happy when he told me that he will never leave me again. I know it's not healthy to just believe that easy but there's no harm in trying and believing. When you're in love you could possibly do that too. Have a happy weekend everyone. Leave some comments.

HIM: that i think i'm HER's :(

      Have you ever tried to stop falling in love because you know for the fact how hard it is to move on?You ever wonder to be happy again with a newly meet person? Do you realized how long you've been struggling for you to forget about your past relationship and then you failed again with your new one?You ever tried waiting for the right person and when you found him you start moving on again? You started moving on again and again if it isn't for you and if isn't the right time for you to fall deeply in love with your perfect guy. I call it perfect guy for i know that every girls would choose the person that would make them complete.

      I've met a man online and he was one of the perfect guy I've known online. I never expected the first day we chatted we kinda like each other and stuffs. I also can't believe that he would be as nice as i was expecting. I can't say bad thing about him for he's just perfectly nice to me. He always remind me of how he likes me and that he's thinking about me all the time. To the point that he wanted to meet me in person but our situation doesn't agreed on what we wanted to happen. I understand how hard it is, especially when we talk via skype, I myself would seriously have to adjust with both of our time difference. He's from Ontario so it's a 12 hour difference. I can feel how hard it is but i always remind myself that this happens for a reason and I am always thankful that after work i can talk to him or message him via facebook and that would help me feel happy and forget about how am i working hard at work. It helps a lot and i feel like stronger for i always have him and i can feel how near he is whenever i read his messages.

            I can still remember the first time we talked via skype that was April 3rd 2012. I was so happy talking to her coz we have a lot of common. We have our own dreams in life but we aim for the same thing and that is to be successful with we dream for. Until such time, I didn't get a message from him. So, was wondering what happened, the day after that he sent me a message saying the internet connection was accidentally broke by his landlord. So, i feel like comfortable knowing that he's fine and he's still there. The day after, he sent me a quick message saying INTERNET IS BACK but 72 hours later i wasn't able to catch him online and wondering again where he is. Then I  sent him a message again then i have no idea that he was online that time he replied that it's kinda difficult to be so far away from me and it's just hard to be away fro so long from someone he cares so much for and yeah that was the last message i received from him .Well I can't blame him from saying that to me for i understand how far we are from each other, until now i still tried to sent him a message saying how much i missed him. I realized after those days we weren't able to talk that I just wanted the truth of how he feels from me now, i just beg him of what he wanted to say on me coz i really don't want him to leave me hanging like i think i am her's.

      I don't want to make this article to have a sad ending, i honestly hate it, I always wanted a happy ending, ever!. But this happened to me and this is the real ending. I couldn't edit it coz i believe that there are people who could drop some comments about this article. I hope so. . 

You think that's a wave of goodbye? 

UNFRIEND and BLOCKED!

      Today is my mom's birthday but think I have another thing to figure out. It was a shocking news from my facebook account when I updated it. I was looking for a sample style of a scrub suit and I directly remember one person who wears the same scrub suit that I wanted also to be like mine  when im gonna go duty in ER one of these days.

      Suddenly, when I searched that friend of mine in facebook I was really like speechless for I can't find him in my friend lists. So, I was hoping maybe it was just because of the very slow internet connection. I waited for his name to load and come out of the lists but I wasn't able to see his name.

      By that time I was conviced that he BLOCKED me :). Well, there are only two things that popped out in my head and that is to believe that someone UNFRIEND and BLOCKED me in my facebook account. So now, if someone blocked me should i be very happy so that i can move on? :D or should i be sad because im starting to miss that person already? :(( 

Purpose: Utilization

      I don't really know whats my purpose in LIFE maybe u would tell me that i should look around and seek for that purpose. Things changes everyday, you should always have a back up plan. 

      Sometimes, in life you should always have to take a risk for you to get what you want and risking per se is a part of your back up plan. Holding back to reality is very risky for me, but now I can say that i can easily adapt to some chosen reality. 

      Okay, limme explain to you. I am really having problems in treating people especially when they talk about their lives and share about everything around them. Of course,  you met him for the first time so you shouldn't believe  him like he is your super best friend. Were humans, yea i knew that were not perfect, we lie, white lies,  half lies and crack lies whatever you call it, we all do it! You don't just trust people easily. You don't just tell them all your secrets and believe them as they promised to keep it. No, that's not it! 

      Oftentimes, we lie but behind those lies are the real and naked model of each personality. These personalities depends on how smart you are and use them in a good way or the other. We learned this personalities from person-to-person, from our parents, siblings, relatives, friends and all of the people whom you think is capable of building its own persona. 

       Utilizing them in a very good way is the BEST and PERFECT idea we could ever imagine but using those bad personalities will make you become the WORST and the most INFERIOR individual in the entire universe.

im NOT COMPLAINING, im just CONFUSED!

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      I complain because i am not perfect. i wanted to cry but i cant. i wanted to sleep and rest but things gets to be complicated as quick as my blinking eyes! i always have a short period of time in making important decisions in my life! i often attend other people's problem where i cant even fix my own. i have a choice but i chose to put THEM first. i wanted to start fixing my own concerns but LIFE per se is challenging me hardly and it isn't that easy to move that way. to move like you really should prioritize other people than yourself. to think like you still have your personal issues to start with but you don't even know how. these past few weeks i can't sleep straightly for at least 8 hours coz i have to attend the personal needs of other sick individual. 

     IM NOT COMPLAINING!!! i don't know if i like what is happening now in my life but i think it is, i know it is. should i believe that someone will rescue me from what my concerns are? or should i start doing my personal concerns while attending other people's needs? or should i stop planning my concerns and start acting like im a hero? what should i do? 

      I think maybe i should get some rest coz i am perfectly confused now but i cant sleep anymore coz i need to call someone to arrange and schedule things properly and then guard them whenever they will go. Maybe should get some sleep later after i attend them and of course after i schedule all my personal needs. 

happily sad -_-

Maybe you'll wonder what was my title about. I deliberately chose it because i felt a two way emotion yesterday. . So, this was what happened.

I was suppose to post this article of mine yesterday but i fell asleep as early as 5 pm. . Yes! I know it's too early but I was so tired so I’m like a very useless vegie yesterday night.

Anyway, i was so happy and very excited yesterday because in the middle of our practice in the afternoon i submitted my exhibit form in the registrar, they needed it for it was one of our requirements as a graduating student. When i submitted my 25 cases this was the time that i felt so GLAD because it's like my dreams were as near as my fingertips. But, suddenly i felt so SAD because the assigned person in the registrar told me to surrender my identification card. DAMN! i don't wanna give it because its one of the things i cared the most in my whole nursing life. But, i don't have a choice so i gave and surrendered it to the registrar office representative and say bye2 to my ever dearest important remembrance in my nursing career.

Maybe you'll think that im so over acting but when you were me in that situation? I don't think what will you feel. It's like you have surrendered your mobile phone to the snatcher because he will stab you, if you won't give it to him and you don't have a choice as well or it's like transferring the name of your house and lot to the bank because you were not able to pay your loan from the bank or maybe like setting free of your ever dearest boyfriend/girlfriend because he/she loves another.

In our lives there are lots of sacrifices that will happen. You'll just have to chose and decide what will be the best and the most of them all.

PS: seen above from the left is the registrar representative writing my clearance and issue for my permanent id card and the next picture is my last picture and remembrance with my id card with my exhibit form and cedula at the back.

GOOD vs BAD

GOOD news:

im so THANKFUL TO GOD that my exhibit forms were already signed and approved by our Dean ;) thanks you very much Lord God .. im really happy ;)

i wanna cry :D so thankful now..

BAD news:

But im a lil bit worried about my grandpa he is still in the hospital ryt now. Its his 2nd night their. I pray for you every night PAPA , i love and miss you so much! :(