HIM: that i think i'm HER's :(

      Have you ever tried to stop falling in love because you know for the fact how hard it is to move on?You ever wonder to be happy again with a newly meet person? Do you realized how long you've been struggling for you to forget about your past relationship and then you failed again with your new one?You ever tried waiting for the right person and when you found him you start moving on again? You started moving on again and again if it isn't for you and if isn't the right time for you to fall deeply in love with your perfect guy. I call it perfect guy for i know that every girls would choose the person that would make them complete.

      I've met a man online and he was one of the perfect guy I've known online. I never expected the first day we chatted we kinda like each other and stuffs. I also can't believe that he would be as nice as i was expecting. I can't say bad thing about him for he's just perfectly nice to me. He always remind me of how he likes me and that he's thinking about me all the time. To the point that he wanted to meet me in person but our situation doesn't agreed on what we wanted to happen. I understand how hard it is, especially when we talk via skype, I myself would seriously have to adjust with both of our time difference. He's from Ontario so it's a 12 hour difference. I can feel how hard it is but i always remind myself that this happens for a reason and I am always thankful that after work i can talk to him or message him via facebook and that would help me feel happy and forget about how am i working hard at work. It helps a lot and i feel like stronger for i always have him and i can feel how near he is whenever i read his messages.

            I can still remember the first time we talked via skype that was April 3rd 2012. I was so happy talking to her coz we have a lot of common. We have our own dreams in life but we aim for the same thing and that is to be successful with we dream for. Until such time, I didn't get a message from him. So, was wondering what happened, the day after that he sent me a message saying the internet connection was accidentally broke by his landlord. So, i feel like comfortable knowing that he's fine and he's still there. The day after, he sent me a quick message saying INTERNET IS BACK but 72 hours later i wasn't able to catch him online and wondering again where he is. Then I  sent him a message again then i have no idea that he was online that time he replied that it's kinda difficult to be so far away from me and it's just hard to be away fro so long from someone he cares so much for and yeah that was the last message i received from him .Well I can't blame him from saying that to me for i understand how far we are from each other, until now i still tried to sent him a message saying how much i missed him. I realized after those days we weren't able to talk that I just wanted the truth of how he feels from me now, i just beg him of what he wanted to say on me coz i really don't want him to leave me hanging like i think i am her's.

      I don't want to make this article to have a sad ending, i honestly hate it, I always wanted a happy ending, ever!. But this happened to me and this is the real ending. I couldn't edit it coz i believe that there are people who could drop some comments about this article. I hope so. . 

You think that's a wave of goodbye? 

UNFRIEND and BLOCKED!

      Today is my mom's birthday but think I have another thing to figure out. It was a shocking news from my facebook account when I updated it. I was looking for a sample style of a scrub suit and I directly remember one person who wears the same scrub suit that I wanted also to be like mine  when im gonna go duty in ER one of these days.

      Suddenly, when I searched that friend of mine in facebook I was really like speechless for I can't find him in my friend lists. So, I was hoping maybe it was just because of the very slow internet connection. I waited for his name to load and come out of the lists but I wasn't able to see his name.

      By that time I was conviced that he BLOCKED me :). Well, there are only two things that popped out in my head and that is to believe that someone UNFRIEND and BLOCKED me in my facebook account. So now, if someone blocked me should i be very happy so that i can move on? :D or should i be sad because im starting to miss that person already? :(( 

GONE GONE FOREVER :(

      Yesterday night i was very excited for my very first job interview. I studied and practice my lines for the possible questions that will come up the next morning. I slept around 3am and I woke up around 6am (BINGO!! was that me? an early morn pip??) Yea yea, u'd better told me that, "hey you! you have to sleep early in prep for yer first job interview!" I knew it, when i woke up? I am having this very awful HEADACHE! So, I decided not to go on to my interview, anyway i have another time to be interviewed again and again.
      So, for the whole day, i sleep and checked my email, facebook, and of course my blogspot account. I talked to some friends regarding what happened today. Until such time, I called my "Special friend" because i wasn't able to call him the whole day yesterday (i was just a lil bit busy that day and i think  i missed him alot). So, we talked and i asked him about how was he feeling because he's sick for i think 3 days now and yeee I was happy about what he told me because he's kinda feeling good now. After a short conversation he suddenly told me about ending the call and rather chat in FACEBOOK (YES! i know i know.. im used to it). I can't even open a topic to him because i told him that if i talked to him it seems like i'l forget everything in my mind. I know it's weird but i don't think why I'm always experiencing it when i talked to him. After that conversation, he then told me that he has something to do and that he will talk to me later. I always wonder what was that SOMETHING he will do that made me wait for i think 24 hours. Yes! i know he's not my BF but i was just wondering what was it.
      He signed out and I checked his facebook account and then i was so SHOCKED about his RELATIONSHIP STATUS!!!, from being SINGLE to IN A RELATIONSHIP :( .I never expected it (YES, N-E-V-E-R). When i saw it? I felt that my blood suddenly rushed into my head that i felt so hot and all of my body was shaking and i was like an intimidated chimpanzees, a stressed mice and a very frightened cat who suffered from having goose bumps around my body.
      Unconsciously, i closed all the applications and windows in my pc, i turned the pc off, locked the door, sat on the hidden corner of my room and covered a blanket. I wanted to talk to someone but i can't.. I don't want them hear me crying like a lost puppy.. Someone called me in my phone, i acted normally like im NOT crying but as i was listening to him sharing about the memories with his x girlfriend, I can't STOP myself from crying that I wasn't able to talk and say sorry for I failed to comforted him. . So, i decided to end the call and sent him a message apologizing about what i've acted. He then called again and comfort me, he told me that it doesn't matter if I wont talk or share to him what happened as long as he was their with me so that I won't feel alone.

falling to pieces . .

i don't know what to say :( he had all the reasons to stay away from me . . sad T_T

i dunno if i'l cry or not? for me im just over reacting if i cry! so i wont cry-- WTF! (sorry for the language)

okay fine! im over reacting . . whatever .

Goodluck to me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrzGHgmG3y4

im freakin out - -

it has been 24 hours since he texted me :( im worried , i feel rejected. Can he just tell me that i dun deserve to be loved , than waiting here in vain and wondering what was he thinking? Im being crazy for i dunno what he feels.. Am i overacting? Damn it! I just want to clear things up!

"UNTITLED"

i wanna look at the sunset while sitting in the seashore

waiting for someone who could possibly sit with me

and spend time witnessing the sundown

leaving the afternoon memories and diverting it to

an evening full of destined happenings

destined for i dunno what will happen

destined for nobody knows it

destined for no one can predict it

destined for no one can pull me back when i go to it

i wanna spend time with someone sitting in the seashore

until it rains, until he wont notice that i'm crying

i just want him to be with me

for i want to assure myself that someone will catch me

and someone i can lean my head off to his shoulder

i wanna spend time swimming in the sea

searching for nothing, playing with the sea water

who's striking me like they hate me

and here i am protecting myself from being hit by the waves

i wanna explore underwater

for i wanna know what's behind it

i wanna find a place for me to hide for,

for me to be isolated to anyone

and for me to be sure that

the SOMEONE i've been sitting in the seashore lately

would realize that im gone and that maybe he would neither

save me from the strangers inside the seashore

nor leave me like imma hella total stranger..

i made this from 11:55pm until 12:04 am and i think that was about 9 minutes..

i dunno y i made this whole thing, i mean , oryt i feel depressed maybe ? (sorta depressed)

and i need someone to talk to , and yeah! here we go .. im talking to my bestfriend blog ..

so maybe im a lil bit relieved after i cried --

yea. til here adios!

PS: i dunno what will be the title of this but mybe it could BE JUST an "UNTITLED" one.

the BEST or the most EMBARRASSING?

Facebook Asherina Escudero:

      The BEST thing that happened in my bithday is when i was walking alone going home around 6 pm after wevising our STRESSFUL MANUSCRIPT and suddenly i saw this one of the MOST IMPORTANT PERSON in my life standing ALONE in the CORNER and after HE SAW ME, he then suddenly SANG the HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG to me and i thought that this night will be the happienst moment in my life but when i opened my facebook account I was shocked when i saw his RELATIONSHIP STATUS stated ER I ET FORHOLD' :(