im NOT COMPLAINING, im just CONFUSED!

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      I complain because i am not perfect. i wanted to cry but i cant. i wanted to sleep and rest but things gets to be complicated as quick as my blinking eyes! i always have a short period of time in making important decisions in my life! i often attend other people's problem where i cant even fix my own. i have a choice but i chose to put THEM first. i wanted to start fixing my own concerns but LIFE per se is challenging me hardly and it isn't that easy to move that way. to move like you really should prioritize other people than yourself. to think like you still have your personal issues to start with but you don't even know how. these past few weeks i can't sleep straightly for at least 8 hours coz i have to attend the personal needs of other sick individual. 

     IM NOT COMPLAINING!!! i don't know if i like what is happening now in my life but i think it is, i know it is. should i believe that someone will rescue me from what my concerns are? or should i start doing my personal concerns while attending other people's needs? or should i stop planning my concerns and start acting like im a hero? what should i do? 

      I think maybe i should get some rest coz i am perfectly confused now but i cant sleep anymore coz i need to call someone to arrange and schedule things properly and then guard them whenever they will go. Maybe should get some sleep later after i attend them and of course after i schedule all my personal needs. 

Monthly Family Bonding (January and February)

      Last December 2011 me and my cousins decided to have a monthly family bonding. Every december and vacation we used to stay in our grandfather's hometown (Salvacion) and i believe in that way we became closer to each and every cousins we got.

      Last year September 2011 we lost our ever dearest gradfather and I guess this monthly bonding help us cope up in that very sad part of our lives and maybe this is a part of our coping mechanism that would lead us into moving on. For some reasons, were all part of that family. We lost someone, we denied, we were angry, we bargained, we become depressed, we cried, missed someone special but as human beings we never forget to ACCEPT and together we move on.

January 

February (ICE GIANTS AND KTV BAR)

from WOMB to TOMB JUDGEMENT!

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         There are lots of unwanted things that is happening these days or may happen in our lives. Ever since my mom always remind me and my sisters not to have a boyfriend while were still studying. I hate the fact that you know to yourself that your telling the truth and then they wouldn't believe you, they always wanted to just accept it even if you didn't do it. Why are these people so judgemental? OKAY. I wanna clear this up. I'm not referring to my parents, instead this blog is addressed to all the guilty individual who will be reading this article. 

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         When I was in college I heared about my high school classmates getting pregnant. I hate the fact that they can't STOP or PROTECT themselves from being pregnant. So, when I started my A&P course as part of my nursing career. I realized how these neurochemicals or neurotransmitters in our brain works together and fall in love as easy as we breath! I learned how opposite sex attracts I learned how these hormones file together to make significant changes physically, mentally and emotionally. Of course, I simply learned how these people react in every problems they've encountered. One of the PERFECT example is the "UNWANTED PREGNANCY". When our parenst heared about this news , they get to overreact which is normal. You expect to happen that you father will be the silent one but the most dangerous person you can deal with so better not talk to him. In addition, you have to expect as wel you neighbors would be THE MOST JUDGEMENTAL people in the world that you wish to close your eyes and cover your ears for you not to be very stressed out in watching the way they look at you and listens the way they judge you. These people should be aware that they shouldn't react that much. It isn't easy to be pregnant. They shouldn't scold, give problems and even shout to the pregnant woman. They should consider the fetus inside that woman, the fetus will be the first one to be affected of how the mother feels about the strees that she is into. Here's another thing I am concerned about, when the baby's finally out your parents and all of the people around you especially your neighbors who made you feel so stressed are the first one who would be very glad and congratulate you despite of the hardship from the day that you knew that you're  pregnant until the day that your first child is born. 

         Years after, you and your partner will decide to marry and then the same people that you are going to invite are again the people who used to stop and contradict your boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Another intimidating part, is when your first child turns 3 years old or more and then they would ask, "When will you and your partner plan to have your second child?" or maybe suggest it directly unto you face! Great!! these people proven "H-A-R-S-H" I repeat H.A.R.S.H!! At first, they'll talk about your mistakes but then again after years or so they will just easily enter into your lives without even thinking how rude they are before. 

What traveller are you?

           It's the first day of  FEBRUARY 2012 and it's my fifth day here in my hometown and for that 5 days, i spent my time into travelling everyday since the day that i arrived. 

         If you ask me of what's the best thing about travelling? Hmm.. Limme think! YES, i got it now..I have tragic and fun experiences in travelling. It was fun especially when we hang out with my family in Bohol and attended my sister's wedding in Cebu City that was last 2005. There are also some tragic experiences like vomiting inside the bus and a ferry boat back when I was a kid, got sleep for hours in the terminal while waiting in the next bus, got stuck in a new place while waiting because the bus' tire needs to be fixed, and the most damn thing that would could pissed me meeting pervert and flirty passengers.

         Those were the BEST about travelling. You could be exposed in different kinds of people. Good, bad, concerned, flirtious, perverts, sick and even hilarious people. You got to adjust whenever or wherever you could encounter them. So, limme ask you this question. What traveller are you?

THINKING TWICE: a two way process!

Its exactly 10:30 in the evening and you've got a pen and an empty space notebook while comfortably sitting in the sofa. Deeply wondering of what should you do for you to make use of your precious time. I maybe confused now but believe me i can still end up and catch up what my brain is trying to express.

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I'll tell you what!! I really missed writing and sharing what my experiences are. I even enjoy it by expressing through my colleagues, cousins and maybe a stranger. Eversince, I always wanted to be silent for at least a week or so. I remember when I had an argument with my mom last December 31, 2011. We never talked for at least three days. I think that was the longest time that I was so silent. I'll tell you again what's the feeling of being untrue to yourself. It was freakin' different!! It feels like you dunno who you are. You feel sad, very much confused, guilty, stressed out alone and withdrew. It feels like you're an alien, nobody talks to you, nobody cares and no one checks on you if ever you've eaten well enough or if you're still breathing or not.

So I should say it isn't fun to be different. Yes! you maybe thinking of changing something about your attitude or maybe your looks but the choice is yours. If you think it's good enough to change then let it be but if you think it could harm to someone or to yourself then better STOP it. One more thing, when you're not sure enough on what you're gonna do, you should seriously think twice.

If you would wanna know how to decide then start looking a guide to help you. My suggestion? READ A BOOK that indicates your concern.

Remember, taking risks is a never ending search and searching helps you gain an additional knowledge. So do it now and don't let this chance get on you. Just like in sales 5 prospects a salesperson has; 4 is the salesperson actually sees; 3 listens to the presentation and 1 say YES! So, are you the one who would say YES? THINK TWICE!!!

ROOMie HOMie ;)

Just showing you guys my room, I know it isn't that cool but i tell you what? Im proud of it coz I got all the color that I ever wanted! :D

CHIRSTMAS 2011 AND NEW YEAR 2012 :((

      It was again a routinary Christmas and new year's celebration. I was in my grandpa's hometown for Christmas and went home in my hometown before new year's day! Last year's Christmas was the most awful, sad and very unforgettable ever, you maybe thinking why? because this is my Christmas with my grandfather's presence. He  was supposed to get dressed for the mass with us and eat together during our Christmas dinner or Noche Buena, but will not happen again. For now im still reminiscing the past being with him. I'd love to see him again in my dreams but that didnt happen. I just pray for him and i promised to do that everyday of my life. Anyway, let's talk about my New Year,  well it also didnt get well. December 31st I lost my mother money costs 500 pesos and she really hated like im not her daughter anymore. SO i promised myself that im gonna go find a job and pay her every month the same amount that i lost, so that she won't say anything. I think that this is the most embarrassing Christmas and New Year in my life..