Him as an ADULT vs Her as a VICTIM!

     Words have been said and done yet we often deny the fact how life changes our approach to people when they say something intimate meaning to us. Confusing isn't it? That a certain man we trust with, is the man whom we unexpectedly do or say some stupid things we cant ever imagine. 

     Talking to someone is a very good way of expressing one's frustrations to some people. They often find someone whom they can share, relate and trust with their problems and even some specific issues in their lives. Often times people find someone stranger, like psychologist, psychiatrist or psychotherapist whom they can talk to and would help them lift up in some issues in their lives. It's one of the easiest things people can do. Talk, be guided, leave in the office, take with them some guidance they've heard and forget. Easy right? But some people doesn't like the idea of meeting someone professional like psychologists because they think that one may have a psychological problem and that person may possibly stay in a specific rehabilitation center. That's mostly half of the people's idea in seeking guidance into someone professional. 

     One common thing that usually happens is when an adult man gets to be very comfortable talking to a woman younger than him or maybe a woman on his age. Some cases, are most likely a foster father into approach with his foster daughter. It could be an uncle to his niece or worst case scenario a father to his daughter and a brother to his sister. It may be not a good topic to talk but its happening. Keeping comfortable to someone feels really great but sometimes it is taken in advantage. One part of someone says NOT to be so comfortable and the other part says doesn't matter because it's IMPOSSIBLE to happen. But some impossible things are taken for granted that isn't healthy after all. Impossible things could lead to intense fear, repeated and distressing recollections of the event, frightening dreams, avoidance of anything that may trigger a flashback including not talking about the attack itself, denial, depression, isolation and even sleepless nights. These may happen whenever that taken for granted IMPOSSIBLE THING will happen. These post traumatic reactions may appear in some cases like verbally and emotionally abused. 

     Some collections of research I've done about this topic are the following statistics in United Nations, it showed to be like more than 250,000 cases of rape or attempted rape were recorded by the police annually. The reported date covered between  65 countries. In England's recent research estimates between 75-95 percent of rape crimes are never reported to the police. Yes! indeed you've read it. Unreported cases or rape crimes is all over the world. Such worst scenarios are like younger kids being raped up until they get  to be an adult. 

     Lastly, people who suffered from these traumas may similarly shuts down feeling in order to do whatever it takes to survive.We can also do our job and help other's survive. This is what we call reality based survival skill. Numbness is the answer. It is effective and it will help someone live normally for the rest of her life. 

"DABDA? SUCH WORDS NOT TO BE AFRAID OF!"

       I started looking for a better relationship but when i got the chance to find the perfect guy for me i keep on reminding myself not to totally fall in love, for i know the fact that i'll still be again the only one left alone and him? I think he wont be that FOREVER GUY whom i am waiting. 

       So many articles of mine and maybe not only mine addressing about those people who's constantly waiting for the love they wanted to have, but still they were unsuccessful, far from the truth and still unhappy. Sadly, i am part of them and that I felt the same with how they suffer from denial, anger, bargaining,depression and i am not sure if they've ever experience the word ACCEPTANCE.

        Life itself is like a bus tire. It's always rolls up and down whenever it's running. What's good thing about it, is that it will help us roll away from those problems we are carrying to. We feel sad and disappointed when we are in our lowest and we are happy and satisfied when we are in our highest. Bus tires let's us explore the unended roads we need to find out in this world. Such the same thought comes up when we try to explore and find out how strong and dedicated we are to push harder to the top just to prove how high can we get when we reach our goals.

     Love? You can always deny it after what happened. Getting angry? You can always blame yourself for what happened. Bargaining? Just sell out yourself until he/she could recognize you even if you already knew what will be the ending. Depression? Hmm.. Cry, eat, sleep, get drunk, isolize yourself, take some pills, kill yourself, jump on a mountain or on a building, cut yourself, and survive. You can choose what you wanted to be or to happen. Instead of doing those things why cant you just explore the word ACCEPTANCE and just let your life roll into its lowest and even to its deepest that it could go through and then try to back it up with some realizations that life could possibly reach up into the opposite that you've got right down there. Reach up to where you can see the goals that you are trying to pick up ever since you were a kid. When you were still a sperm trying to find someone to meet up just to live and survive the life that you are into. So then, you realize how hard you've been through even if you weren't born yet. That you are born to be a fighter and not to be a loser and to just waste your life with nothing is such a bad idea. Think of how hard it was to pass through those challenges even in a generation where you aren't even a day older. Think of how precious your life before or even now and surely in the near future. That what you have right now is too much than you wish for. What's lacking is the word appreciation.

      Let me help you change the meaning of the first four letters of  the popular theory of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross DABDA into a positive way. Instead of DENIAL let's make it DEVOTION. You as a person should devote your problem and continue to the next step which not to be ANGRY with yourself but to APPRECIATE your problem, that it's just a normal and usual challenge you are into and of course the second to the last word, that is not to be DEPRESSED but to DECIDE what to do with that certain problem and next is to ACCEPT that life is just a rolling tire. It rolls up and down and it stops sometimes but never gives up. Always on its goal and that is to ROLL and ROLL to find and explore for more challenges and to reach out excellent goals. Whatever your goals will be. It'll surely be one hell of a big bomb SUCCESS!