GOODBYE FOR NOW?or GOODBYE FOREVER?

      For the very last time maybe i should let him go coz i know that he’s OBVIOUSLY letting me go0o.. Letting me go to the fact that he dumped me, he gave me up, he leaves me speechless , he leaves me hanging, he tortured my heart, he definitely killed me emotionally..

      After all i wanna say sorry for what i told to your PRINCESS in my previous blog post. I wanna apologize too for the few words that are so intimidating to hear. I know im not perfect and i am so aware about what had happened to me , i get depressed thats why i was so ANGRY that time and i felt like i've experienced a PHYSICAL PAIN, (BINGO!! both were signs of being DEPRESSED!)

     It just happened that maybe you dunno how to control my emotions of how to deal with the problems in your LIFE, that is why you did it to me , YOU LEAVE ME :[ (CRAP! why am i always defending you? and why im always  protecting you, for you not to be hated by others? Do i still LOVE you? or MAYBE this is just an effect of trying to get your attention as a part of my defense mechanism?)

      Talking to my BLOG again is not an easy job!! (is it a job?). Well, it's just similar in facebook that it is the only NORMAL way that you post in a WALL or the only WALL that you can express all of what you feel.. BUT! believe me, it can HELP! that if you will ask me about it.. You can have an alternatives, you can read books, talk to someone in person or maybe through call and text, all of the mentioned items are already done by me . Wo0o0ohh! CONGRATULATIONS!

      Now, here i am! really did all the best way on how to move on but didnt even have a progress even in the first step . . CAN YOU HELP ME ? is this what im goin to ask for myself? or to other people.. CAN YOU HELP ME PINKY or CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME? what the?? im being crazy!!! Maybe , i wasn’t able to move on because YES!! i mean it. (I STILL DUN WANNA MOVE ON or shuld i say I STILL LOVE HIM ) that im still holding on to him :((

      IM SORRY BUT STILL I CAN’T LET YOU GO:(( but im not gonna force my self to you again, maybe i shud go by myself i shud forget u and be ISOLATED forever in your life so that i will NOT be the REASON for the break up of your PRINCESS…

GOODBYE FOR NOW?

NOPE!!! it shud be ..  GOODBYE FOREVER!!

AFTER ALL!!

      Last tuesday AUGUST 3 2010 we just broke up!! i mean he broke me up ;) and I just found out today that he had another one.. lol I was just shocked when I saw it !! It's just like nothing's happened, now I know the reason why he decided to broke me up!!hahahaha because he got a new one and take note! SHE'S A F*CKIN' FIONA! sorry for the word :(

TIRING DAY!!!

      I'm so tired of crying every night  i just can’t STOP myself crying knowing that my FAMILY is now having a problem, it's so hard to go on duty while you have a problem deep inside this is really the first duty ever that I had alot of MISTAKES!! D**N I HATE IT! i don't used to be like this! so DUMB! and WORTHLESS! Im f*cked up!!! i really wanna STOP goin to school coz even my studies were already been affected!

i MISS the days when LIFE’S BIGGEST DECISIONS could be SOLVED with ENNEY MINNIE MINIE MO :(

      I just can’t imagine that my LIFE today would be a very tiring and emotional day of my LIFE!! There comes a conversation between my eldest sister and me of course it was a family problem so i cant expressed it thoroughly here I wish somebody would catch me because im really falling now, but i promised myself i will NOT give up until i will achieve my GOAL , that is to solve the NEW problem that i am encountering now, i know its a little bit impossible but i dun wanna deny the saying EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!! for the FIRST TIME i will make PROMISE to myself..

 I miss those days that i am with my family bonding together, especially during Christmas, new years and every vacation, i think every family member could isolate their selves because they have their own family but im not saying that they would forget us, that’s what i believe. This was also the day that i've erased my 19 albums in my friendster account and i reli dunno why , maybe just to run out lookin with the memories in my past.. whatever!! just pray for my journey… wish me luck again :(     

THE FIRST TALK :)

It was our lunch break where im so disturbed, stressed out and very exhausted and tryna find a way to divert my attention into sumthin that wd make me feel satisfied and probably forget the problems i am into, in that very moment i am with one of my closest friends which i often call him as my “bhe2 ko”. Im tryna ask for a comfort from him and maybe he can give me some words of advise on what are the possible interventions that im gonna do with my problems. He was a very gud adviser though he makes jokes within our conversations, but i can internalized his advises. In that moment, i still have these WORRIED expression in my face but i didnt allow other people to sense of what im feeling that time.

As i am listening to my favorite rock song in my ipod , i heard that someone called my name saying , “PINK”. I couldnt recognize that voice coz its a little bit unfamiliar and somehow familiar lol.. I then realize that i just cant recognize it because ever since that person didnt even talk to me coz were not that close and it was our first time to be in one section , so i was shocked to hear him calling my name , as if were very close as he call my name that time, it was a very sweet and calm voice from my beloved crush and that was our FIRST TALK ever, he asked me about why am i absent yesterday because our clinical instructor was looking at me, i didnt mind the question that he asked me coz i was very amazed with his charming and angelic face (this is how i describe it).

For me then , this day is a very exhausting day ever but i suddenly realized that only his warm voice let me forgot the exhaustion that i felt this day and i know that sometimes its psychological but i tell you it works alot! .PROVEN!! Til next time


the picture above is my beh2 ko , sadly i dun have a photo of my crush lol maybe next tym i will have it on hand :))

"WHY MEN WANT SEX AND WOMEN NEED LOVE"

      "Without LUST the human species could be threatened with extinction"


[from the book of Allan and Barbara Pease "WHY MEN WANT SEX AND WOMEN NEED LOVE"] 

       This is one of the BEST NATIONAL BOOKSTORE line  I have read about this book, actually i didn't read it everyday like my notes in school , i just read it when i have my leisure time coz its not also my book , its my sister's lol. She just bought it when she had a visit on one of the branches of NBS here in davao city . Its cover is very interesting that many people would expect something from it and some would think that it was not a good book because it is all about SEX! u know people likes judging something which they didnt even know whats the CONTENT of that book. . 

      As of now, i am trying to read it minimally and i look forward for the time that im gonna finish it. ;) so WISH me LUCK people and keep updated on my posts coz il be posting some of the good lines in that book here in my blog :)

the BEST or the most EMBARRASSING?

Facebook Asherina Escudero:

      The BEST thing that happened in my bithday is when i was walking alone going home around 6 pm after wevising our STRESSFUL MANUSCRIPT and suddenly i saw this one of the MOST IMPORTANT PERSON in my life standing ALONE in the CORNER and after HE SAW ME, he then suddenly SANG the HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG to me and i thought that this night will be the happienst moment in my life but when i opened my facebook account I was shocked when i saw his RELATIONSHIP STATUS stated ER I ET FORHOLD' :(