Searching for Mr. Right Chapter 2

      Another story had come up in my silly mind this time.I made this story from 4:35 pm until 6:34 pm. I hope you'll enjoy it guys!

      I was 20 years old that I decided to transfer in a dorm and about to graduate in college when I met Chris which one year older than me. He was one of my dorm mate about 3 doors away from my room and me staying in the 2nd to the last room in that building with the nearest gay dormmate named Gelo whom we shared one comfort room. Gelo was very annoying, shouts and loughs out loud every time he wants, he's our alarm clock and YES we expect that every morning which we are all aware of, he along with our other dorm mates plays online game and go to party almost every night and then goes back home around 4 or 5 in the morning. The gate's locked up around 12 midnight so you expect them to roam around the city 

rather than sleep beside the road. 

      My first morning in that dorm, I was shocked and horrifed with what I noticed. One big voice calling may name and not just knocking at my door but seriously bangging it! I couldn't recognize the voice and I hurriedly turned the switch on then open the door nicely. I was a lil bit dizzy that time so I couldn't see him. He's got a big tummy, lordotic in posture, curly hair and big eyes! He raised his voice saying "Akeena!!! wake up its time to shower, prepare your things, eat your breakfast and go to school". I felt like its was my mother but I realized when after he commanded me, he said I should be expecting that every morning and then he formally introduce his name saying "Im Gelo, I've seen you in school but I never knew your name til I saw your name outside your door". Looking at him seems awkward for I am still new in that dorm but I felt like im home knowing that I had the same situation like what I had in our own house when I was still in High School. 

      The night after school, I've met all my dormmates and started to feel like I'm one of them and known them for years. I saw familiar faces coz some of them are my schoolmates and I also visit that dorm often so i didn't have a hard time knowing them.

      After final exam, we went to a pool and we brought foods for dinner as planned then we went to a club, got drunk, meet new friends, went home in group and got drunk again in the corridor of the dorm. By that time Chris was guarding me from the moment i go to comfort room and he follows back as well, I was thinking maybe he was just trying to be nice to me and dont wanna let anyone blocks my way or maybe hurt or grab me while im walking in a crowded place like the club but couldn't he stop chasing after me when were already in the dorm coz we were like 20 people there and thats not i think a crowded place per se, that i realized that he's drunk enough to do that and he's not too aware of what he's doing . So, I stepped back and suddenly  stays away from the group and leave them. Me? secretly hiding in my room like a stealer being hunted by cops without giving them an idea. 

      Around 2am was about to finish brushing my teeth and taking a bath somebody knocked my door and then I shouted, 

       "Wait! I need to finish brushing my teeth. Who's that?" 

       A man answered, "It's me, okay I'll wait for you they are looking at you coz were going outside again we stole the keys to the gate, you need to hurry"

      Then I answered with my mouth still full of bubbles from the toothpaste "Gelo, I can't go I need to wake up early tomorrow for a morning jog, you guys should go now before our landlady notice us that were all drunk, just leave the keys outside my door. I'll be the one to open you guys later when you get back". 

      He replied, "Okay, you're forgiven tonight but next time you promise that you'll join us".

     So I went out and get the keys after I brushed my teeth and wore my pajamas, everyone was outside I can't hear someone's walking around or talking to anyone. It was so quiet that I can only hear the sounds of the cats playing around the dorm. It's 2:30 am and it was so cold when I hear someone's calling my name like it was whispering. I was so warm and felt that I've got goose bumps all around my body. I was hesitating if I'll open it or not. I can hear it repeatedly calling my name with a very soft and sweet voice seems like in a hurry. I decided to open it, with my heart's pumping so fast. 

      I was shocked, "Chris? is that you? what happened to them?"

      "I didn't to ran away from them, I can't walk that long anymore" he answered.

     I can see that he's too drunk to walk in the middle of the night. He was lying on my bed and when I closed the door and checked him again he was sleeping like a baby. I barely know him but I think I should let him sleep in my bed coz I expect him to sleep. I was so sleepy as well that moment feeling a lil drunk as well so I was also lying on my bed and sleep like there's no one in my room. Around 3 am he's starting to move like he can't sleep, he hugged me like I was his teddy bear and I tried to pull off his shoulder around my body but I couldn't move it. I let it happen considering he was very drunk. Then suddenly he's trying to pull me towards him and starting to feel like i'm his girlfriend when I knew i'm not. I couldn't stop him, I got carried away and let  him kissed me like we were married. It was the first time that a man kissed me and there's a lot that happened unexpectedly that night. 

     The next morning, I woke up without his presence beside me. I was still on denial that there's something happened that night. I couldn't resist thinking about it coz I found myself naked wrapped around with a blanket. So, I decided to take a bath and smoke inside the bathroom, wore my jogging attire and started running like I'm not going back. When I passed his room I feel like I wanna break his door and start to punch him like he's a punching bag but I refused to do that. I ran away, I wanted to stop from running but I just can't. Suddenly,  I saw a friend of mine in the oval and he tried to stop me. He couldn't stop me from running so he pulled me towards him and I felt threatened knowing that the last person who did that to me somebody happened between us. I punched him, feeling like he was Chris, he stopped me from doing that and I realized it wasn't him. 

     "What happened? You don't usually act like this" Adi said.

     "Huh? Nothing happened. I maybe acting strange but you know for sure I used to punch you in school right?" 

     Then he answered " Yes. I know that but this time you are very strange, tell me what happened" 

     So i told him everything, I thought it would be very embarrassing but instead of judging me he extends his support and shared something about Chris. He knows Chris since high school. Adi told me that Chris had a long term girlfriend but it was a far distance relationship. 

     "When Chris, turned 20 years old he got very depressed hearing the news that his girlfriend was pregnant. He couldn't accept that it was his son. He started acting like he's got no responsibility to that poor fetus inside the womb of his girlfriend. He got drunk and sleep with different girls. He's a very secretive person so he choose not to say anything to his dorm mates. I know it because we were in the same province and his mom is my mom's best friends" 

     After what Adi told me, I was thinking maybe Chris needed someone who could comfort him. Someone that will help him decide between right and wrong. Adi then sent me back to the dorm and talked to Chris. Adi noticed that he was not paying attention and that pissed off Adi. He almost punched Chris but I stopped him. Luckily, he listened to me and I started acting like nothing happened the night before. Adi grab me in my room and warned me not to let anybody in on my room. I agreed on him. 

     After that incident, I locked my door and turned off the lights so that my dormmates wouldn't notice that I am inside my room. At 12 midnight, I heard a sound of slippers walking through my door and again banged my door thrice. I opened it up without asking if who was it. I forgot what Adi told me. There I saw Chris, drunk again and wanted to talk with me so I gave him a chance, he was so sorry of what happened that he was drunk and he can't stop himself. I too was sorry about it and I was also drunk that night. I hugged him just to let him know that I've forgiven him. Unexpectedly it happened again for the second time, the third time after four days, the fourth time after a week after and the fifth time a month after. 

     After what happened, semestral break started already so we need to split up. All of my dormmates decided to go home in their provinces and Chris went home realizing how important his son was. He thanked me for everything I  told him. He said I was so lucky He met me. Every time we sleep together, I always talk about his son and girlfriend that time I know he's trying to realize all what he did was wrong and decided to go home for a short vacation. He didn't came back to me after he won't home. I decided to change my number so that he can't contact me anymore. Until now we didn't see each other from the very last time we talked. Chris maybe an engineer now and starting to make his life better with his son and girlfriend. Me? I already graduated that year in college and as of now I've got this dream job which I know i'm happy and contented with. I'm a loving and the most in demand pediatrician in my city treating children with different kinds of rare and common diseases. As of now, still have no plans to go back and visit Philippines. 

"REGRETS" - A Letter to Andrea

      

       Every step of the way we always wanted to get something out of our plans and the way we handle it is kinda creepy sometimes. We wanted to make our lives memorable, we wanna be contented in some other ways, we live life to the fullest, we gave everything we can, we express what we think is right and wrong, we gave up everything that we can imagine, we speak to what we believe, we listen to every conversations and we tried to understand them, we follow such rules and regulations just to be as disciplined as what they want us to be. But the BIG question is how come we still have these REGRETS in our lives?

       I've known a man whom I let myself fall in love with. I let myself get crazy and think about him badly. I know this is just a common feeling with the same women who's reassuredly in love--

      I shouldn't have met him, treat him on a dinner date, get to know him while we were eating, I shouldn't have asked him about some personal questions,shouldn't have laugh at him, kissed him like he's my real boyfriend, or maybe let her kissed me, I shouldn't have gave him a massage when he needed to, shouldn't have sang him my favorite song, watched with him in a movie house with a scary film, ride in his car and let him hold my hand while he's using the other hand to drive or maybe kissed my hand before he holds it, shouldn't have another dinner date with him in a japanese restaurant, I shouldn't let him send me home late at night, follows his instruction to send him a message on his phone that I am already home or send him a message saying how happy I am when im with him and that he should always take care for us to have the chance to see each other again and remind him almost all of the text messages that I always love him even if I know for sure that we won't be together like we wanted to be. 

      All of which what happened would never happen if I let him. I keep tracking those memories of us together and tried to teach myself to forget about them. Now, im blaming myself for what had happened and i know for sure this isn't right but a normal feeling a person would experience if he/she's suffering from grieving. For all this time, I've felt like my hormones dopamine and serotonin are dragging each other down to the level that I can't feel anymore the happiness that I've felt when I am with him. 

      I made this article because i feel like im so pathetic walking alone on the streets and practicing again the life of being alone. I don't wanna fall in love again this time coz im afraid to be hurt and making this article would make me feel like im completely gaining respect, comfort and people who wanted to help me for at least they would hear my side and they could give me a lil bit of support that I badly need right at this moment. Whatever your comments may be would be very much acceptable. Thank you and Godbless us all. 

Searching for Mr. Right Chapter 1 (PART 2)

      The next day, Andrea couldn't sleep because she really needs to clarify something with Jo. So, she texted Jo and trying to set up a date or time when will they meet. But Jo couldn't make it coz he was with his friends and boss, then Andrea decided to set it again before she will be back in the place where she was working. They both agreed which each other. 

      Hours later after they were texting, Jo asked Andrea if what would she wanted to say to him, if it is important or not. Then, Andrea told him that, "Its not very important I just need to see you before il go back to my workplace and I want you to know how much I really care and love you." Jo replied saying "I love you more, Im just sad coz i know for sure your leaving me and you will be very far from me and I don't want that to happen, I tried not to be serious with you coz im just so afraid." 

      Finally, Andrea realized that they don't need to see each other again coz it's all clear to him that Jo isn't that serious to him coz of the reason that Andrea will be far away from him. Even though it hurts so bad but Andrea should look and wait again for the RIGHT guy that would accept and fight for him whatever may happen into her life. Nevertheless, she should be strong enough again and will be choosing Mr. Right with a life starting with forever and ends with never.

      To God be the glory!

Messing Things Up

      April 10th one of the worst and happiest day of my life. Worst because I won't be able to be with my college and high school friends again like what i used to do when im still here in the city where i graduated. Happy because im starting my ever dreamed job and being a professional, working with the course that i graduated for. I decided to volunteer in a hospital, YES you heard it right working without being payed! You may think that i'm a lil bit crazy but im happy with what i've decided. 

     Three months had passed and I can say that i am capable of doing things like what other staff nurses are doing. I can say im working to be an excellent volunteer nurse. 3 weeks before my 4 months work I went back to the city where I graduated to be with my dad's annual check up but my absents were extended for like 3-4 weeks and by that time I was so worried knowing that its not a good sign and im afraid they wont accept me again to work there in that very long absent. So I decided to send a letter to my Chief nurse trying to be formal this time and up to now still waiting for the reply from them.

      I am seriously drained, stressed and worried about what is happening in my life right now. While I am back here in the city I was thinking I should've attended the interview in one of the most popular hospital here. I regret it. I would've do something else here while im processing my student's visa. 

      Finally, I've met a man whom i think could be my distraction when i am here waiting without nothing to do at home. I was so happy with him, talking to my self that i will take it seriously. Yes, i know i've already prepared for it. Im ready to get hurt again. When i told him im applying for a student's visa in Norway. He disagreed, like my dad. He don't want me to travel there coz he will be hurt when im away from him. Days after we've met he told me that he's trying no to be serious with me coz he don't wanna be hurt when i'l be able to study in Norway. 

      Things get clearer to me as time passed by. I cried, I was sad, worried, messed up, all alone. But i know im used to it. All i want is maybe a real distraction for me to forget everything and I  know for sure, this is what i am doing now. I hope i'l be doing fine someday and I hope I could find a man ready to fight for me whatever fucked up situation that'll happen in my life. 

Searching for Mr. Right Chapter 1 (PART 1)

      Well, okay I know I visited again my blog because I have to post a story that is seriously running out in my mind right at this moment. This is the very first story I've ever made.

      A girl that has been LOOKING for a guy finally tried to meet a man who's 8 years older than her. YES! you heard it right LOOKING not WAITING..She can't imagine how strange it is to date with a man who's already in Grade 2 while she was just born in the same year. Amazing right? I know this is a common story but I'll tell you how she feels good when she was with this guy. I'd like to name my characters but I assure you it will be their code names. The girl named Andrea and the Singaporean guy named Jo. 

      These couple met first in a specific social networking site. I wouldn't name it because I should maintain their privacy. Well, at first impression Andrea didn't like Jo because he posted his number on his wall and Andrea feels like he's got a lot of girls but still Andrea clicked YES on him and decided to add Jo. Finally, Andrea was so busy with her work and so she sent Jo a message to just text her whenever Jo's got time because she couldn't go online all the time. Jo then received the message and texted Andrea, then days and weeks passed by they still don't send text messages to each other often.

      One night, Andrea wanted to know how Jo's life is going and she was so curious about him. She texted Jo and she noticed that Jo can't reply that fast and Andrea decided to text him often looking at her phone and wondering why he couldn't reply as fast as she could. Finally, Jo replied saying, that he's a fully matured guy and he don't usually check his phone often like her. Andrea then, was so upset and told Jo that he don't have to be very judgmental. Andrea was just trying to say that she was so interested with Jo and that she don't act the same with what she did when she's with her friends and other guys. Suprisingly, Jo got Andrea's point and decided to just meet up someday. So by then, they will meet up to the city to where Andrea graduated and where Jo works currently. Jo is working in a finance department on a very popular hotel in that city.

      On the last week of July, they finally decided to meet in a popular fast food restaurant. Andrea paid for their food because she owe a lunch and a 20 minute kiss to Jo, that was their conversation and plan before they met up. I know its strange but that came up on their mind when they two were still texting each other. Then, they ate their dinner and went out in the restaurant sitting on the park and getting to know each other for 4 hours. Finally, when they decided to go home. Jo, gave a smack kissed on Andrea beside her lips, then she told him that she still owe him a 20 minute kiss. So , they both decided to go in the car and thinking about where to do that. Andrea's plan was to kiss him in the car but Jo offered to rent a lodge, good thing Andrea didn't react and just said YES. While on their way. Jo asked Andrea why would she agreed to be with him on the lodge then Andrea just replied saying "LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST. Im happy to do it so no one can stop me from doing that unless you disagree. Please don't think that im a bitch because i believe knowing you for like 6 hours, you deserve to have me." YES best line ever! Andrea wanted to just show him how she likes Jo. 

      After that night, they met again deciding to have dinner and watch a movie then sleep again for 3 hours. They were like real couples, walking and holding their hands together. Jo asked Andrea a picture of them together but Andrea refused because she was shy, she felt like Jo was thinking maybe she's got a boyfriend but she doesn't care about that because it isn't true. It's like things happened so fast between them. Ate in a Japanese restaurant together and send text messages as well. 

      On the next couple of days, Jo wasn't able to reply on Andrea's text messages. She was worried because the last message that she received from Jo was that HE IS SAD. She keeps on calling Jo and texted him but Jo's recent behaviour. Andrea was so worried until she realized maybe he was sleeping, dating with another girl thinking that he's kinda alike with the other guys, don't have a credit on his phone, working at home, playing tennis with his friends or maybe worst thing ever to happen  "AVOIDING HER."

       Whatever the reason Andrea is still happy with the experience date with Jo and that she's proud that he's got a lot of first times on him during their date.

1. First time treating the guy on a date

2. First time sitting in the park with a guy on a date

3. First time to eat in a Japanese restaurant with a guy on a date

4. First time that someone ask her to take a photo with them together on a date

5. First time walking in the mall holding each others hand on a date
6. First time giving a massage to a guy on a date

I hope those first times will be followed again and ended up with a fairy tale ending, to be continued..

HIM: that forever will be..

      Today is i think the day that i am waiting for. I got the answers to my questions in my previous blog post. I am happy and contented that we have talked about our problem. I believe that everything is worth the wait and he made me realize how important i am to him.

      We talked today, he told me SORRY for he was distant to me the past few days and it's difficult for him that we are both far away from each other that its just also hard to be away for so long from someone he cares so much for.

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       Above all, was so happy when he told me that he will never leave me again. I know it's not healthy to just believe that easy but there's no harm in trying and believing. When you're in love you could possibly do that too. Have a happy weekend everyone. Leave some comments.

HIM: that i think i'm HER's :(

      Have you ever tried to stop falling in love because you know for the fact how hard it is to move on?You ever wonder to be happy again with a newly meet person? Do you realized how long you've been struggling for you to forget about your past relationship and then you failed again with your new one?You ever tried waiting for the right person and when you found him you start moving on again? You started moving on again and again if it isn't for you and if isn't the right time for you to fall deeply in love with your perfect guy. I call it perfect guy for i know that every girls would choose the person that would make them complete.

      I've met a man online and he was one of the perfect guy I've known online. I never expected the first day we chatted we kinda like each other and stuffs. I also can't believe that he would be as nice as i was expecting. I can't say bad thing about him for he's just perfectly nice to me. He always remind me of how he likes me and that he's thinking about me all the time. To the point that he wanted to meet me in person but our situation doesn't agreed on what we wanted to happen. I understand how hard it is, especially when we talk via skype, I myself would seriously have to adjust with both of our time difference. He's from Ontario so it's a 12 hour difference. I can feel how hard it is but i always remind myself that this happens for a reason and I am always thankful that after work i can talk to him or message him via facebook and that would help me feel happy and forget about how am i working hard at work. It helps a lot and i feel like stronger for i always have him and i can feel how near he is whenever i read his messages.

            I can still remember the first time we talked via skype that was April 3rd 2012. I was so happy talking to her coz we have a lot of common. We have our own dreams in life but we aim for the same thing and that is to be successful with we dream for. Until such time, I didn't get a message from him. So, was wondering what happened, the day after that he sent me a message saying the internet connection was accidentally broke by his landlord. So, i feel like comfortable knowing that he's fine and he's still there. The day after, he sent me a quick message saying INTERNET IS BACK but 72 hours later i wasn't able to catch him online and wondering again where he is. Then I  sent him a message again then i have no idea that he was online that time he replied that it's kinda difficult to be so far away from me and it's just hard to be away fro so long from someone he cares so much for and yeah that was the last message i received from him .Well I can't blame him from saying that to me for i understand how far we are from each other, until now i still tried to sent him a message saying how much i missed him. I realized after those days we weren't able to talk that I just wanted the truth of how he feels from me now, i just beg him of what he wanted to say on me coz i really don't want him to leave me hanging like i think i am her's.

      I don't want to make this article to have a sad ending, i honestly hate it, I always wanted a happy ending, ever!. But this happened to me and this is the real ending. I couldn't edit it coz i believe that there are people who could drop some comments about this article. I hope so. . 

You think that's a wave of goodbye? 

PERFECT SPOT!!

For a year I have this spot which I would really love to pose every Good Friday. We'll do the 14th Station walk before we can achieve this SPECIAL SPOT that I have been telling you.

This was the first picture taken last April 22, 2011

This is the 2nd pic taken today April 6, 2012

UNFRIEND and BLOCKED!

      Today is my mom's birthday but think I have another thing to figure out. It was a shocking news from my facebook account when I updated it. I was looking for a sample style of a scrub suit and I directly remember one person who wears the same scrub suit that I wanted also to be like mine  when im gonna go duty in ER one of these days.

      Suddenly, when I searched that friend of mine in facebook I was really like speechless for I can't find him in my friend lists. So, I was hoping maybe it was just because of the very slow internet connection. I waited for his name to load and come out of the lists but I wasn't able to see his name.

      By that time I was conviced that he BLOCKED me :). Well, there are only two things that popped out in my head and that is to believe that someone UNFRIEND and BLOCKED me in my facebook account. So now, if someone blocked me should i be very happy so that i can move on? :D or should i be sad because im starting to miss that person already? :(( 

Purpose: Utilization

      I don't really know whats my purpose in LIFE maybe u would tell me that i should look around and seek for that purpose. Things changes everyday, you should always have a back up plan. 

      Sometimes, in life you should always have to take a risk for you to get what you want and risking per se is a part of your back up plan. Holding back to reality is very risky for me, but now I can say that i can easily adapt to some chosen reality. 

      Okay, limme explain to you. I am really having problems in treating people especially when they talk about their lives and share about everything around them. Of course,  you met him for the first time so you shouldn't believe  him like he is your super best friend. Were humans, yea i knew that were not perfect, we lie, white lies,  half lies and crack lies whatever you call it, we all do it! You don't just trust people easily. You don't just tell them all your secrets and believe them as they promised to keep it. No, that's not it! 

      Oftentimes, we lie but behind those lies are the real and naked model of each personality. These personalities depends on how smart you are and use them in a good way or the other. We learned this personalities from person-to-person, from our parents, siblings, relatives, friends and all of the people whom you think is capable of building its own persona. 

       Utilizing them in a very good way is the BEST and PERFECT idea we could ever imagine but using those bad personalities will make you become the WORST and the most INFERIOR individual in the entire universe.

im NOT COMPLAINING, im just CONFUSED!

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      I complain because i am not perfect. i wanted to cry but i cant. i wanted to sleep and rest but things gets to be complicated as quick as my blinking eyes! i always have a short period of time in making important decisions in my life! i often attend other people's problem where i cant even fix my own. i have a choice but i chose to put THEM first. i wanted to start fixing my own concerns but LIFE per se is challenging me hardly and it isn't that easy to move that way. to move like you really should prioritize other people than yourself. to think like you still have your personal issues to start with but you don't even know how. these past few weeks i can't sleep straightly for at least 8 hours coz i have to attend the personal needs of other sick individual. 

     IM NOT COMPLAINING!!! i don't know if i like what is happening now in my life but i think it is, i know it is. should i believe that someone will rescue me from what my concerns are? or should i start doing my personal concerns while attending other people's needs? or should i stop planning my concerns and start acting like im a hero? what should i do? 

      I think maybe i should get some rest coz i am perfectly confused now but i cant sleep anymore coz i need to call someone to arrange and schedule things properly and then guard them whenever they will go. Maybe should get some sleep later after i attend them and of course after i schedule all my personal needs. 

Monthly Family Bonding (January and February)

      Last December 2011 me and my cousins decided to have a monthly family bonding. Every december and vacation we used to stay in our grandfather's hometown (Salvacion) and i believe in that way we became closer to each and every cousins we got.

      Last year September 2011 we lost our ever dearest gradfather and I guess this monthly bonding help us cope up in that very sad part of our lives and maybe this is a part of our coping mechanism that would lead us into moving on. For some reasons, were all part of that family. We lost someone, we denied, we were angry, we bargained, we become depressed, we cried, missed someone special but as human beings we never forget to ACCEPT and together we move on.

January 

February (ICE GIANTS AND KTV BAR)

from WOMB to TOMB JUDGEMENT!

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         There are lots of unwanted things that is happening these days or may happen in our lives. Ever since my mom always remind me and my sisters not to have a boyfriend while were still studying. I hate the fact that you know to yourself that your telling the truth and then they wouldn't believe you, they always wanted to just accept it even if you didn't do it. Why are these people so judgemental? OKAY. I wanna clear this up. I'm not referring to my parents, instead this blog is addressed to all the guilty individual who will be reading this article. 

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         When I was in college I heared about my high school classmates getting pregnant. I hate the fact that they can't STOP or PROTECT themselves from being pregnant. So, when I started my A&P course as part of my nursing career. I realized how these neurochemicals or neurotransmitters in our brain works together and fall in love as easy as we breath! I learned how opposite sex attracts I learned how these hormones file together to make significant changes physically, mentally and emotionally. Of course, I simply learned how these people react in every problems they've encountered. One of the PERFECT example is the "UNWANTED PREGNANCY". When our parenst heared about this news , they get to overreact which is normal. You expect to happen that you father will be the silent one but the most dangerous person you can deal with so better not talk to him. In addition, you have to expect as wel you neighbors would be THE MOST JUDGEMENTAL people in the world that you wish to close your eyes and cover your ears for you not to be very stressed out in watching the way they look at you and listens the way they judge you. These people should be aware that they shouldn't react that much. It isn't easy to be pregnant. They shouldn't scold, give problems and even shout to the pregnant woman. They should consider the fetus inside that woman, the fetus will be the first one to be affected of how the mother feels about the strees that she is into. Here's another thing I am concerned about, when the baby's finally out your parents and all of the people around you especially your neighbors who made you feel so stressed are the first one who would be very glad and congratulate you despite of the hardship from the day that you knew that you're  pregnant until the day that your first child is born. 

         Years after, you and your partner will decide to marry and then the same people that you are going to invite are again the people who used to stop and contradict your boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Another intimidating part, is when your first child turns 3 years old or more and then they would ask, "When will you and your partner plan to have your second child?" or maybe suggest it directly unto you face! Great!! these people proven "H-A-R-S-H" I repeat H.A.R.S.H!! At first, they'll talk about your mistakes but then again after years or so they will just easily enter into your lives without even thinking how rude they are before. 

What traveller are you?

           It's the first day of  FEBRUARY 2012 and it's my fifth day here in my hometown and for that 5 days, i spent my time into travelling everyday since the day that i arrived. 

         If you ask me of what's the best thing about travelling? Hmm.. Limme think! YES, i got it now..I have tragic and fun experiences in travelling. It was fun especially when we hang out with my family in Bohol and attended my sister's wedding in Cebu City that was last 2005. There are also some tragic experiences like vomiting inside the bus and a ferry boat back when I was a kid, got sleep for hours in the terminal while waiting in the next bus, got stuck in a new place while waiting because the bus' tire needs to be fixed, and the most damn thing that would could pissed me meeting pervert and flirty passengers.

         Those were the BEST about travelling. You could be exposed in different kinds of people. Good, bad, concerned, flirtious, perverts, sick and even hilarious people. You got to adjust whenever or wherever you could encounter them. So, limme ask you this question. What traveller are you?

THINKING TWICE: a two way process!

Its exactly 10:30 in the evening and you've got a pen and an empty space notebook while comfortably sitting in the sofa. Deeply wondering of what should you do for you to make use of your precious time. I maybe confused now but believe me i can still end up and catch up what my brain is trying to express.

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I'll tell you what!! I really missed writing and sharing what my experiences are. I even enjoy it by expressing through my colleagues, cousins and maybe a stranger. Eversince, I always wanted to be silent for at least a week or so. I remember when I had an argument with my mom last December 31, 2011. We never talked for at least three days. I think that was the longest time that I was so silent. I'll tell you again what's the feeling of being untrue to yourself. It was freakin' different!! It feels like you dunno who you are. You feel sad, very much confused, guilty, stressed out alone and withdrew. It feels like you're an alien, nobody talks to you, nobody cares and no one checks on you if ever you've eaten well enough or if you're still breathing or not.

So I should say it isn't fun to be different. Yes! you maybe thinking of changing something about your attitude or maybe your looks but the choice is yours. If you think it's good enough to change then let it be but if you think it could harm to someone or to yourself then better STOP it. One more thing, when you're not sure enough on what you're gonna do, you should seriously think twice.

If you would wanna know how to decide then start looking a guide to help you. My suggestion? READ A BOOK that indicates your concern.

Remember, taking risks is a never ending search and searching helps you gain an additional knowledge. So do it now and don't let this chance get on you. Just like in sales 5 prospects a salesperson has; 4 is the salesperson actually sees; 3 listens to the presentation and 1 say YES! So, are you the one who would say YES? THINK TWICE!!!

ROOMie HOMie ;)

Just showing you guys my room, I know it isn't that cool but i tell you what? Im proud of it coz I got all the color that I ever wanted! :D

CHIRSTMAS 2011 AND NEW YEAR 2012 :((

      It was again a routinary Christmas and new year's celebration. I was in my grandpa's hometown for Christmas and went home in my hometown before new year's day! Last year's Christmas was the most awful, sad and very unforgettable ever, you maybe thinking why? because this is my Christmas with my grandfather's presence. He  was supposed to get dressed for the mass with us and eat together during our Christmas dinner or Noche Buena, but will not happen again. For now im still reminiscing the past being with him. I'd love to see him again in my dreams but that didnt happen. I just pray for him and i promised to do that everyday of my life. Anyway, let's talk about my New Year,  well it also didnt get well. December 31st I lost my mother money costs 500 pesos and she really hated like im not her daughter anymore. SO i promised myself that im gonna go find a job and pay her every month the same amount that i lost, so that she won't say anything. I think that this is the most embarrassing Christmas and New Year in my life..