revelation ever?

you have this weird way of making me fall more in love with you everyday. That's all i can say, i think it explains EVERYTHING.

happily sad -_-

Maybe you'll wonder what was my title about. I deliberately chose it because i felt a two way emotion yesterday. . So, this was what happened.

I was suppose to post this article of mine yesterday but i fell asleep as early as 5 pm. . Yes! I know it's too early but I was so tired so I’m like a very useless vegie yesterday night.

Anyway, i was so happy and very excited yesterday because in the middle of our practice in the afternoon i submitted my exhibit form in the registrar, they needed it for it was one of our requirements as a graduating student. When i submitted my 25 cases this was the time that i felt so GLAD because it's like my dreams were as near as my fingertips. But, suddenly i felt so SAD because the assigned person in the registrar told me to surrender my identification card. DAMN! i don't wanna give it because its one of the things i cared the most in my whole nursing life. But, i don't have a choice so i gave and surrendered it to the registrar office representative and say bye2 to my ever dearest important remembrance in my nursing career.

Maybe you'll think that im so over acting but when you were me in that situation? I don't think what will you feel. It's like you have surrendered your mobile phone to the snatcher because he will stab you, if you won't give it to him and you don't have a choice as well or it's like transferring the name of your house and lot to the bank because you were not able to pay your loan from the bank or maybe like setting free of your ever dearest boyfriend/girlfriend because he/she loves another.

In our lives there are lots of sacrifices that will happen. You'll just have to chose and decide what will be the best and the most of them all.

PS: seen above from the left is the registrar representative writing my clearance and issue for my permanent id card and the next picture is my last picture and remembrance with my id card with my exhibit form and cedula at the back.

GOOD vs BAD

GOOD news:

im so THANKFUL TO GOD that my exhibit forms were already signed and approved by our Dean ;) thanks you very much Lord God .. im really happy ;)

i wanna cry :D so thankful now..

BAD news:

But im a lil bit worried about my grandpa he is still in the hospital ryt now. Its his 2nd night their. I pray for you every night PAPA , i love and miss you so much! :(

im freakin out - -

it has been 24 hours since he texted me :( im worried , i feel rejected. Can he just tell me that i dun deserve to be loved , than waiting here in vain and wondering what was he thinking? Im being crazy for i dunno what he feels.. Am i overacting? Damn it! I just want to clear things up!

- - My 25 Cases - -

First of all maybe you will be curious why i do have 25 cases. No no no no, that's not the way you guys are thinking! It's just that imma hella have to complete these cases in the hospital for it is required in my chosen program. Today, i've completed all of them and i am so happy about it!

Secondly, i'm so thankful to my Clinical instructor Ms. Llewelyn I. Cortez, RN, MN for sticking around even if she's not feeling well. You are one of the reasons why i was able to complete my cases.

Thirdly, i wanna thank Dr. Lei a GS resident from SPMC (Southern Philippines Medical Center formerly Davao Medical Center) for cheering me up during the procedure which helped me lessened my anxiety, for giving me the opportunity to ask questions, for answering my questions and for keeping me focused in the two successive surgery.

Lastly, I wanna thank God for guiding me all the time. For always being in my side whenever i need Him. For my family, thank you for the prayer, guidance, support, love and patience. I know i can never ever pay you for whatever effort you've exerted whenever i needed you. Thank you very very much and I hope you will continue to do the same forever and I'll try my BEST to be a future RN and to return all the good things that you have provided for me.

my TSUNAMI story

At exactly 4:21 pm i received a text message from my mother informing me that there will be a possible tsunami that will happen in the PHILIPPINE COASTAL PROVINCES ALONG PACIFIC OCEAN those places were BATANES,CAGAYAN, ILOCOS NORTE, ISABELA, QUEZON, AURORA,CAMARINES SUR&NORTE,ALBAY,SORSOGON,SAMAR,CATANDUANES, LEYTE, SURIGAO and YES! DAVAO CITY this is DUE TO JAPAN's QUAKE 8.9 in SCALE & recently TSUNAMI HIT MAIN HONCHU JAPAN.

Actually, i was in the mall that time when i received my mother's text message ;) I wasn't worried because i know that we don't have to be scared if we really believe in God, but it doesn't mean that even if i am in the mall i wasn't thinking about my family who's away from me. I went home around 8:38 pm and almost of the people were talking about the tsunami news happened in Japan.

I heard a conversation between a woman and a boy teenager talking about the woman's family, she's worried about her children because they were living near the seashore. The teenager then answered that she don't have to worry as long as her children knows how to swim. I don't think if that teenager was joking or he just wanted to offend that woman. Later, when I asked the tricycle driver to drive me home I saw him staring above and wondering of what was he looking at. Maybe he was was also thinking about the tsunami and his family.

As i arrived at the boarding house the aura, environment and the situation has changed because no one's talking about tsunami at all. I was shocked because no one's worried, they were talking about the food that they ate, their experiences before when they were still college and their experiences when they already have a family. I was happy because everyone's not thinking about the tragedy. But, i can't stop my self from asking them about the tsunami news, then they answered me,

"Honey, you don't have to worry because it already happened and we can't stop such situation, all we have to do is to pray for the souls of the people who wasn't able to survive and for the people who lost their family members".

And that was a PERFECT answer from them. That's them, my first and second degree family.

My first cousins, second cousin's and my aunt.

PS. To all BSN Batch 2008 and those who knew Alfred Mark R. Mar, he has joined the Creator last March 6, 2011. His wake is at Angel Funeral Homes. Interment is on March 15, 2011.

Please pray to all military officers who died in an ambush today at Mawab Compostela Valley Province.

We are all praying for the souls of the people who died and for the deceased family. May you will all rest in peace.

"UNTITLED"

i wanna look at the sunset while sitting in the seashore

waiting for someone who could possibly sit with me

and spend time witnessing the sundown

leaving the afternoon memories and diverting it to

an evening full of destined happenings

destined for i dunno what will happen

destined for nobody knows it

destined for no one can predict it

destined for no one can pull me back when i go to it

i wanna spend time with someone sitting in the seashore

until it rains, until he wont notice that i'm crying

i just want him to be with me

for i want to assure myself that someone will catch me

and someone i can lean my head off to his shoulder

i wanna spend time swimming in the sea

searching for nothing, playing with the sea water

who's striking me like they hate me

and here i am protecting myself from being hit by the waves

i wanna explore underwater

for i wanna know what's behind it

i wanna find a place for me to hide for,

for me to be isolated to anyone

and for me to be sure that

the SOMEONE i've been sitting in the seashore lately

would realize that im gone and that maybe he would neither

save me from the strangers inside the seashore

nor leave me like imma hella total stranger..

i made this from 11:55pm until 12:04 am and i think that was about 9 minutes..

i dunno y i made this whole thing, i mean , oryt i feel depressed maybe ? (sorta depressed)

and i need someone to talk to , and yeah! here we go .. im talking to my bestfriend blog ..

so maybe im a lil bit relieved after i cried --

yea. til here adios!

PS: i dunno what will be the title of this but mybe it could BE JUST an "UNTITLED" one.

"Pharma-Ville: The nurses way to understand the concept of Pharmacology

At last our seminar has ended, after how many stressful weeks I can say that i am already done being my supervisor's tiny little crap follower! woaaah! thank you very much for our guest speaker MRS. JOSEFINA R. LOCSIN, RN it was a very very fruitful, knowledgeable and entertaining discussion. We learned alot from that span of hour. We will not forget what we've learned on your lecture. Forget about the pathophysiology and let's focus more on CONCEPT and MEDICATION itself ;). Heparin, warfarin, agonist, antagonist, nitroglycerin, and etc.

HEARING AND LEARNING from the ISSUES REGARDING THE SEMINAR were of great interest, particularly on improving OUR OWN WAY OF UNDERSTANDING PHARMACOLOGY as nurses. I think the best tribute for us students in this seminar are the points raised today and that will be a very valuable contribution for us in the near future. Once again i would also thank our beloved clinical instructor MRS. JANETTE F. LUMANDO, RN, MAN for always reminding us regarding our paper works, for the preparation, and for the patience in teaching us regarding the concept of organizing a seminar. Thank you very much maam. Another person to be recognize also, one of the alumni in the school where i am currently studying is SIR HAROLD AGUINALDO, RN thank you sir for showing your support in this seminar and for assisting maam JOSEFINA LOCSIN. I would also like to thank my groupmates for their full support and in some useful contributions. I wish to thank all my co students for actively listening and participating during the discussion and colloquium, the seminar made also possible because of the complete number of participants. Finally, I hope that the insights that we have gained will be fruitful in our future work. Thank you very much and God bless us all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsydVWbhoNo