HIM: that forever will be..

      Today is i think the day that i am waiting for. I got the answers to my questions in my previous blog post. I am happy and contented that we have talked about our problem. I believe that everything is worth the wait and he made me realize how important i am to him.

      We talked today, he told me SORRY for he was distant to me the past few days and it's difficult for him that we are both far away from each other that its just also hard to be away for so long from someone he cares so much for.

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       Above all, was so happy when he told me that he will never leave me again. I know it's not healthy to just believe that easy but there's no harm in trying and believing. When you're in love you could possibly do that too. Have a happy weekend everyone. Leave some comments.

HIM: that i think i'm HER's :(

      Have you ever tried to stop falling in love because you know for the fact how hard it is to move on?You ever wonder to be happy again with a newly meet person? Do you realized how long you've been struggling for you to forget about your past relationship and then you failed again with your new one?You ever tried waiting for the right person and when you found him you start moving on again? You started moving on again and again if it isn't for you and if isn't the right time for you to fall deeply in love with your perfect guy. I call it perfect guy for i know that every girls would choose the person that would make them complete.

      I've met a man online and he was one of the perfect guy I've known online. I never expected the first day we chatted we kinda like each other and stuffs. I also can't believe that he would be as nice as i was expecting. I can't say bad thing about him for he's just perfectly nice to me. He always remind me of how he likes me and that he's thinking about me all the time. To the point that he wanted to meet me in person but our situation doesn't agreed on what we wanted to happen. I understand how hard it is, especially when we talk via skype, I myself would seriously have to adjust with both of our time difference. He's from Ontario so it's a 12 hour difference. I can feel how hard it is but i always remind myself that this happens for a reason and I am always thankful that after work i can talk to him or message him via facebook and that would help me feel happy and forget about how am i working hard at work. It helps a lot and i feel like stronger for i always have him and i can feel how near he is whenever i read his messages.

            I can still remember the first time we talked via skype that was April 3rd 2012. I was so happy talking to her coz we have a lot of common. We have our own dreams in life but we aim for the same thing and that is to be successful with we dream for. Until such time, I didn't get a message from him. So, was wondering what happened, the day after that he sent me a message saying the internet connection was accidentally broke by his landlord. So, i feel like comfortable knowing that he's fine and he's still there. The day after, he sent me a quick message saying INTERNET IS BACK but 72 hours later i wasn't able to catch him online and wondering again where he is. Then I  sent him a message again then i have no idea that he was online that time he replied that it's kinda difficult to be so far away from me and it's just hard to be away fro so long from someone he cares so much for and yeah that was the last message i received from him .Well I can't blame him from saying that to me for i understand how far we are from each other, until now i still tried to sent him a message saying how much i missed him. I realized after those days we weren't able to talk that I just wanted the truth of how he feels from me now, i just beg him of what he wanted to say on me coz i really don't want him to leave me hanging like i think i am her's.

      I don't want to make this article to have a sad ending, i honestly hate it, I always wanted a happy ending, ever!. But this happened to me and this is the real ending. I couldn't edit it coz i believe that there are people who could drop some comments about this article. I hope so. . 

You think that's a wave of goodbye? 

PERFECT SPOT!!

For a year I have this spot which I would really love to pose every Good Friday. We'll do the 14th Station walk before we can achieve this SPECIAL SPOT that I have been telling you.

This was the first picture taken last April 22, 2011

This is the 2nd pic taken today April 6, 2012

Monthly Family Bonding (January and February)

      Last December 2011 me and my cousins decided to have a monthly family bonding. Every december and vacation we used to stay in our grandfather's hometown (Salvacion) and i believe in that way we became closer to each and every cousins we got.

      Last year September 2011 we lost our ever dearest gradfather and I guess this monthly bonding help us cope up in that very sad part of our lives and maybe this is a part of our coping mechanism that would lead us into moving on. For some reasons, were all part of that family. We lost someone, we denied, we were angry, we bargained, we become depressed, we cried, missed someone special but as human beings we never forget to ACCEPT and together we move on.

January 

February (ICE GIANTS AND KTV BAR)

from WOMB to TOMB JUDGEMENT!

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         There are lots of unwanted things that is happening these days or may happen in our lives. Ever since my mom always remind me and my sisters not to have a boyfriend while were still studying. I hate the fact that you know to yourself that your telling the truth and then they wouldn't believe you, they always wanted to just accept it even if you didn't do it. Why are these people so judgemental? OKAY. I wanna clear this up. I'm not referring to my parents, instead this blog is addressed to all the guilty individual who will be reading this article. 

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         When I was in college I heared about my high school classmates getting pregnant. I hate the fact that they can't STOP or PROTECT themselves from being pregnant. So, when I started my A&P course as part of my nursing career. I realized how these neurochemicals or neurotransmitters in our brain works together and fall in love as easy as we breath! I learned how opposite sex attracts I learned how these hormones file together to make significant changes physically, mentally and emotionally. Of course, I simply learned how these people react in every problems they've encountered. One of the PERFECT example is the "UNWANTED PREGNANCY". When our parenst heared about this news , they get to overreact which is normal. You expect to happen that you father will be the silent one but the most dangerous person you can deal with so better not talk to him. In addition, you have to expect as wel you neighbors would be THE MOST JUDGEMENTAL people in the world that you wish to close your eyes and cover your ears for you not to be very stressed out in watching the way they look at you and listens the way they judge you. These people should be aware that they shouldn't react that much. It isn't easy to be pregnant. They shouldn't scold, give problems and even shout to the pregnant woman. They should consider the fetus inside that woman, the fetus will be the first one to be affected of how the mother feels about the strees that she is into. Here's another thing I am concerned about, when the baby's finally out your parents and all of the people around you especially your neighbors who made you feel so stressed are the first one who would be very glad and congratulate you despite of the hardship from the day that you knew that you're  pregnant until the day that your first child is born. 

         Years after, you and your partner will decide to marry and then the same people that you are going to invite are again the people who used to stop and contradict your boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Another intimidating part, is when your first child turns 3 years old or more and then they would ask, "When will you and your partner plan to have your second child?" or maybe suggest it directly unto you face! Great!! these people proven "H-A-R-S-H" I repeat H.A.R.S.H!! At first, they'll talk about your mistakes but then again after years or so they will just easily enter into your lives without even thinking how rude they are before. 

A Month of Vacation Back home (DAY 32)

November 13, 2011 (DAY 32)

      Ready to go back in Davao but first i need to attend the mass because its obviously sunday and i should pray for our safe travel as well.

Mawab

Tagum City

Tagum City

Carmen ,Tagum

Davao City (A house full of flowers)

SICK :(

a PICTURE behind - -

Every picture has its own interpretation. Every single smile, a cute laugh, unforgettable memories, relaxing and quiet place, and a golden time has it.

to continue - -

No More - -

When u end up on something important it's like your gonna be crazy without it.

same as LOVE: you learn to build and end it up.

They say that "A good production comes from an excellent foundation"

same as: LOVE + FRIENDSHIP: it'l start with an excellent foundation of friendship to a prosperous product which is love.

I just wonder why people tend to STOP LOVING SOMEONE! I think they still did not know the REAL meaning of LOVE!.

LOVE is TIMELESS, UNCONDITIONAL and EVER UNDYING!

If you LOVE someone you'll make it to the point that he/she remembers each and every single day of your relationship as special as the day he/she was born.

But, there are situations that would really measure your strength on fighting for the one you love, there are are also people who would pull you down just to make sure that you'll NOT gonna end up happy.

These factors commonly exists to every relationship, the problem is that how we are going to COPE UP!

Oftentimes, people get to have HALLUCINATIONS, ILLUSIONS and even DELUSIONS when they're in LOVE! This is true because of some changes of our brain activity when someone is so in love.

In Psyche, it is BEST be prevented through ASSESSMENT, REALITY ORIENTATION and the last one are DISTRACTIONS!

At the end of the day, you'll get to realize that everything should be attach to REALITY, to GOD, to YOURSELF and NO MORE than that. . . .

an INSIGHT from a FRIEND -

No matter how strong a woman is, the minute she falls inlove..things get complicated right away.

Maam Joni-

When a man loves you for real..he will make ways to make you feel special. You don't have to doubt him even he's not around because he will not let you. Your head will never ache wondering whether he will text you if you're ok ..or what are you doing at time he knows your vacant...or will actually want to see you even for a while.

Maam Joni-

healing the cut :(

In life we get to be busy all the time. We tend to have alot of things to do and alot of things to finish sometimes we forget to pause for an hour to ask the following questions to ourselves. How am i? Am i enjoying what im doing? Am i allowing myself to rest? to have a break? To kick other people's ass off just to make my self satisfied of my hard works? Sometimes its very therapeutic to ask yourself these questions. Simple yet helpful.

How am i by the way? Most common asnwers would be, "Im fine" or maybe "Im okay". Even i would answer the same thing. But hey! Im referring on how deeply I am okay with my life right now. Okay! Im NOT fine and NOT okay yet because I think Im exhausing myself too much from the things that made me so busy. For I saw myself suffering from the things that I let myself happen. For I see the people not okay too when I check on them. One time I was sitting on the seashore looking at those vendors who really have nothing to count on as their way of living were a box of fake jewelry and other "kikay" stuffs. Im not so sure if they would answer either a YES or a NO in my second question which was, "Am i enjoying what Im doing?" or "Are they enjoying what they are doing?" I wanted to ask them after I ate my lunch but Im afraid maybe tears would fall from my eyes when I hear their answers. Im not so sure if they have an income at the end of the day or if they take a break during lunch time. Lately, when i checked on the jewelry vendor, my family gave him a lunch to eat which made me very happy and satisfied for I feel like Im enjoying myself looking at my family giving and sharing the blessings that we have.

As i wrote this, Im wondering if I allow and if Im doing the third and last question. Wondering if I am having a very relaxing break this easter week? If am i kicking an ass off just to make me satisfied with my hard works? My answer would be a big YES! Sitting here behind the seashore is very relaxing. It heals the wound that I am trying to fix. As of now the problem keeps on opening the artery of my heart which is so hard to suture. Im sitting here for a purpose, a purpose to make this post as a way of expressing what im feeling right now. I wanted to kick an ass off just to make me satisfied but now I can't, that is why I am trying to write it so that the cut would be minimize and would not leak anymore if someday someone will volunteer to suture and help me fix the cut that im forcing to heal right now.

im DEEPLY sorry - -

Lately ive been entertaining some people whom i dunno, which is weird *ya i know it is*. But i just wanted to remind myself that its not wrong, having new friends - - yea hang in their *FRIENDS*

But limme just assess my self. . i think im losing something, am i?

Yes i am! i almost forgot that i asked God to give me a MAN who suited to be an ideal person of mine. Until such time he came to my life *that was 1 week after i prayed*. Yeaaa! dun ya ever laugh at me because its true. .

Hes cute, smart, charming, kind, taller than me, with sense of humor, loves photography, we are in the same profession, and has a job! Bingo!! I remembered when he ask me if what was my ideal man , i told him all of those things except this *loves photography, we are in the same profession, and has a job* because maybe he will think that i am referring unto him. . Yes , i admit it i prayed to God all those things but i never expected that he would add this *has a job*. .

I thank God for giving HIM in my life and now i just cant afford to lose him.. I felt sorry all the time for i just dunno what he feels because he is not so vocal like me . . thats the opposite thing we have.

I just wanted to say sorry to my BLOG because this blog is the only way i can express what i feel. . as of now, while im typing, my heart beats so fast that i cant even breath normally, that i cant even stop my tears from falling because i felt so guilty on what i did.

Hes so special to me and im NOT special to him . . Its okay, i cant force a person to like me. All i want is to have a good relationship to every people ive encountered, i am encountering and to be encountered. .

YES! IM LIVING MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST!!! I JUST WANT TO BE MEEEEE.. SAYING I LOVE YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE I LOVE AND SAYING IM SORRY TO ALL THE PEOPLE IVE HURT. .

Until here. GOD BLESS US ALL!

revelation ever?

you have this weird way of making me fall more in love with you everyday. That's all i can say, i think it explains EVERYTHING.